


Pork Tenderloin

by thefuckistevvs



Series: The Junker's Guide to the Outback [7]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Cooking, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hahaha get it Pork Tenderloin because pig, M/M, i just needed some fluff..., ratatouille was too much of a low hanging fruit im sorry, they actually cook pasta hah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 22:38:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8551915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefuckistevvs/pseuds/thefuckistevvs
Summary: Roadhog hadn't cooked anything that wasn't roasted bugs in a while, and now that they were out of Australia, why not? It's not like he felt safe enough to go and buy actual food in an actual restaurant.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaa, i just... wanted to write something that was just fluff, considering the state of things lately. I always thought that Roadhog teaching Rat how to cook was a super cute idea......... ... this has probably been done before and way better AHA well, this is sorta my take on it.
> 
> I actually have the idea that Rat would probably be really really good at cooking- he still would eat raw onions and would take bites out of pineapple and eat dirt like nbd, but i think he would be a great cook.
> 
> I hope you like it!!

The sun had already set when Roadhog and Junkrat entered the hotel room, Junkrat practically running inside, gawking at the surroundings. Roadhog closed the door behind him, locking it immediately. Junkrat instantly ran up the bed, rolling on top of the fancy sheets, flesh hand pressing and rubbing at it just feeling its smoothness. 

"Holy shit! You gotta feel these fucking blankets, Hog!" Junkrat laughed as he continued to roll in the bed. Roadhog sighed, placing the grocery bags he was holding on the counter of the small kitchen in the room. He felt strange- it has been a very long time since he has been in a place this fancy. 

The hotel wasn't extremely fancy, but it sure beat those disgusting torn apart motel rooms they've been at back at Oz. The hotel had been Junkrat's idea, surprisingly enough. He wanted to know how it felt to be in one of those "fancy hotels places"; they had successfully managed a bank heist, giving them enough money to rent the room like normal people. They had to go incognito though, still looking ragged and dirty with their crappy clothes. Junkrat didn't even bother showering either, his face still covered with soot and hair disgusting and patchy. He wore oversized jeans that would continue to get tangled with his peg leg, an oversized jacket as well to hide his tattoo and most of his orange prosthetic as well as a dirty white wife-beater with the words "Milk" on it- he looked like a disaster. Roadhog didn't look any better if he had to be honest, his massive size intimidating everyone, face covered not with his pig mask but with a surgical one covering his mouth and broad nose, he covered his eyes with sunglasses as well and a blue trucker hat with the words "I'm Eggscellent" printed on front. Junkrat had gotten it from him- he thought it was absolutely hilarious. Roadhog didn't get it. 

His clothes barely fit him, too, a giant Hawaiian shirt with terrible color palette, his normal overalls hanging below his gut. They looked absolutely ridiculous and didn't blame the clerk that just stared at them confused and slightly horrified as they requested their room. She was incredulous until Junkrat threw a huge amount of cash in front of her and motioned to keep the change. The girl went wide eyed, and gave them the key to their room. Easy. 

Roadhog let Junkrat prance around the room inspecting it, touching the painting and the walls, fumbling with the little trinkets all over it and leaving soot stains all over them. Roadhog chuckled as he put away the groceries he had bought before getting to the Hotel, Junkrat had asked him why they didn't just steal them, but Roadhog just grunted. Sometimes it was necessary to act like normal citizens.   
Besides, something deep in him liked the normality of buying groceries like so many years ago, but he wouldn't admit it.   
He had bought some candies for Junkrat, some fancy chocolate that had gooey salted caramel inside. The kid had just swallowed it down in almost a go, caramel smeared on the corners of his mouth. Gross. 

"Rat," Junkrat immediately let the vase he was holding drop to the floor, shattering at his feet. Oh, oops. Junkrat didn't seem to care at all, staring contently at Roadhog. He pointed at the door with his chin, and Junkrat immediately understood. 

"Oi, roight!" The kid scrambled off his feet, grabbing the backpack he had been carrying along and dumping the contents in the floor. Roadhog winced, still at edge that Junkrat would just dump his ready-to-explode tools on the ground like no big deal. He stared at his tools, opened the door and placed a "Do not Disturb" sign on the door knob as he laughed hysterically as if it was some joke. He closed the door and locked it, and started setting up the mines around it. They probably didn't need this level of carefulness, but It made both Roadhog and Junkrat feel safer. 

Roadhog looked at the groceries he bought, snacks, soda cans, lube, napkins- all things that Hog thought would be essential for the couple of days they would be there. When he was at the store, Roadhog had spotted a couple of tomatoes and it gave the man an idea. He grabbed the tomatoes, an onion, a garlic; he went to grab a packet of elbow pasta (they were out of spaghetti) and paid for it along with his other things. He hadn't cooked anything that wasn't roasted bugs in a while, and now that they were out of Australia, why not? It's not like he felt safe enough to go and buy actual food in an actual restaurant. 

Roadhog was pretty hungry so he figured it was best moment to start cooking. He dug around the small kitchen cabinets, picking a couple of pots and placing them on the counter. He filled one of the pots with water, setting it on the oven and turning the gas knob on, leaving it to boil. He picked one of the plates on the cabinet as well, fishing a knife out of one of the drawers. 

"Oi, watcha' doin' there, Hog?" Junkrat peered over the counter, mechanical hand grabbing at an onion and sniffing it curiously. He probably had meat nothing but bugs and lizards in his life, Roadhog didn't expect him to actually know about vegetables. Junkrat sniffed at it, taking a small bite out of the onion, chewing it and actually swallowing it like no big deal. Roadhog stared at him slightly stunned, snatching the bitten onion out of his hand and putting it far from him. 

"Cooking," Roadhog replied as he took one of the tomatoes and put it in the plate. 

"Huh? Whatcha cookin'?" Junkrat rummaged through the vegetables, sniffing at them and ready to bite at them only for Roadhog to take them away from his hands with an annoyed grunt. Junkrat got to the elbow pasta, crinkling the bag and looking how the pasta shifted inside of its packaging. "What's this?" 

"Pasta," Roadhog replied softly as he checked the water. It still wasn't boiling. "I'm making some sauce." 

"Sauce?" Junkrat wondered, opening the packet with the pasta slightly too rough, making some of the elbows fly around the counter and floor. Unsurprisingly Junkrat grabbed at the stray ones and threw them into his mouth, as if they were some potato chips or something. He grabbed a small handful of the elbows, eating them raw as well. 

"Stop that!" Roadhog huffed, taking the packet off his hands and putting it away from Junkrat who was a little bit more than annoyed. 

"Who cares about cookin', it can be eaten this way can't it? It ain't like its geko, it won't kill us if we don't cook 'em roight?" 

"You cook so it tastes better." 

"Taste? Who cares 'bout taste? Ya don't eat bugs an' lizards for the taste. Ya don't got time for taste back in the Outback." 

"We're not in the Outback anymore." 

Junkrat stared at Roadhog, eyes darting around as if he was thinking, as if he had suddenly realized they were in fact out of the Outback.He shrugged, moving to stare at the water about to boil instead. "Guess yer roight. Watcha doin'?" 

"Pasta." 

"Isn't cookin' just putting 'em over the fire? that's how we cook geckos." Junkrat asked, grabbing one of the stray elbows that was on the counter and giving it a squeeze with his mechanical hand, breaking it in half. 

"There are different ways to cook. We have to cook the pasta and the sauce." 

"What's tha' water for?" He pointed at the pot with the warm water, small bubbles already starting to appear the surface, starting to boil. 

"When it boils, we put the pasta in it. It will make it soft." 

"What? No, really?" Roadhog gave the open packet to Junkrat, pointing to the pot. Junkrat poured all of it into the pot without much care, some water droplets jumping from the pot and landing on his skin. "Ow." 

"Careful. Hot." Junkrat rubbed a little on his skin annoyed. He stared at the elbow pasta who just sat on the bottom of the pot. 

"Now what?" He asked still staring at the pot as if he was awaiting something amazing to happen. 

"Now we make the sauce." Roadhog grabbed the knife as he was about to start chopping the tomatoes, noticing that Junkrat was paying a lot of attention. He stared at the knife, digging another one from a drawer and giving it to Junkrat. The kid took it in his hands, inspecting it and confused as to what to do. Roadhog placed one of the tomatoes in front of the Junker. "Chop it." 

"What?" 

"Chop it in little cubes," Roadhog started to chop the onion he had, putting aside the bit that had a bite out of it. He chopped it carefully so Junkrat could see. "Like this." 

"Oh, okay." Junkrat proceeded to lean on the counter very close to the Tomato, starting to just sink the knife on it with no actual technique. The tomato was sliced crudely, the juices leaking into the counter underneath it as Junkrat continued to chop it with no finesse. The kid just attempted to cut it into even pieces, but they were big and sloppy, ragged at the edges and chunky. Roadhog chuckled as Junkrat just kept attempting to cut them right but failing. 

Roadhog cut on the onion properly, feeling his eyes sting a little as he made little cubes out of the onions. His were the appropiate size and even; he grabbed the other empty pot and put the chopped onions inside, taking the other tomato and chopping it quickly as well. When he finished making cubes out of the tomato Junkrat had finished as well, but his cubes still looked either way too small or too big. He scooped all of it into the pot along with the onions, along with a little bit of garlick he crushed with his palm. 

"Now what?" Junkrat stared at the pot as Roadhog brought it to the stove as well, putting on top of the fire. 

"We let it roast for a little. Stir it with a spoon-" Junkrat shoved a wooden spoon on Roadhog's free hand; Roadhog chuckled at the action as he began to stir the vegetables. The water was boiling along with the pasta on the pot. "Check if the pasta is ready." 

"Oh, how do I know if it's ready?" Junkrat said as he stared at the boiling pot. 

"It has to be soft." Before Roadhog could give him the spoon to use Junkrat used his prosthetic to fish out a couple of the elbows, making Roadhog sigh. Junkrat proceeded to shove them into his maw even though they were still steaming, he didn't seem to mind. 

"Yup, they're soft now!" Jamison was surprised at the fact, staring at the water in disbelief. Roadhog stopped stirring the vegetables to grab at a strainer, placing it into the sink. Carefully he grabbed the pot of pasta by the handles, pouring it into the sink to strain at the pasta. Junkrat was about to grab more to eat but Roadhog gently swatted his hand. He expected Junkrat to complain or something, but instead he was still fixated in Roadhog's hands. 

"That's still like cubes, isn't sauce supposed to be watery an' stuff?" 

"Yes, we need a blender." 

"Wazzat?" Roadhog gave the spoon to Junkrat instructing him to continue stirring. Junkrat did so eagerly, stirring the vegetables maybe a little too fast, spoon rasping on the bottom of the pot. Roadhog had to kneel to try and find the blender, the appliance shoved to the bottom of one of the cabinets. He pulled it out and Junkrat stared at it in awe. "What's that for?" 

"This is a blender," Roadhog huffed as he plugged it into the wall. Junkrat kept staring at it curiously, letting Roadhog take the pot away from him along with the spoon. Roadhog poured the contets of the still hot pot into the blender, adding a little bit of water from the tap. "This blends everything into a paste." 

He turned the blender on, and Junkrat basically crawled towards it staring how the little vegetables turned into a sauce. He whistled in amazement having never seen such a thing, staring until Roadhog turned the blender off. He put the sauce back on the pot they used to stir. 

Roadhog rummaged through the bottom cabinets, picking two bowls they could use. Using the wooden spoon, he put mount of pasta into the two bowls, leaving some left over on the pot. With the same spoon he poured sauce on the bowls, still steaming from the heat. He gave one of the bowls to Junkrat, who stared at it in amazement. The boy was about to start eating it with his bare hands when Roadhog shoved the spoon on his hand. Contently, Junkrat practically sped to the fuzzy carpet, kicking the shoe he had on and sitting down with crossed legs. He stared at Roadhog patiently, who just chuckled as he grabbed another spoon walking towards Junkrat. He thought maybe sitting at the actual table with chairs was better, but whatever. 

He sat with a huff, crossing legs as the bowl sat hot in his hand. He scooped some of the pasta with his spoon, but his gaze traveled to Junkrat, the kid staring at the bowl with stars on his eyes. He took some of it with his spoon, opening his mouth and cautiously eating it. Roadhog had never seen Junkrat eat something so... calmly. He always would swallow anything without care, chomping down on everything without even caring about the taste. He had seen Junkrat eat an entire gecko in the span of ten seconds. It was so _surreal_ to see him try to eat carefully. 

He practically saw Junkrat's eyes lit up as he tasted the pasta, face softening at the taste of it. He swallowed it contently, licking his lips as he continued to eat. "Hog, 'is fucking good!" He gingerly said, sauce dripping down his chin and into his wife-beater. Roadhog smiled, taking a bite of his plate. 

It needed a little bit of salt in his opinion, but it was pretty good. Way better than roasted gecko and scorpions, anyways. It reminded him of when he was young and cooked a quick meal on a lazy sunday. He licked his lips as well, mask shoved down to his throat as he continued to eat. He continued to look at Junkrat in amusement who was probably having the best meal he has ever had in his entire life. His face was lit up in joy, tasting every piece of the food with such joy, it made something in Roadhog feel warm. 

"Oh this is so good! Wow! Way better than eatin' 'em raw!" Junkrat was so content he basically was spitting some of the sauce. "Can ya cook more things?" 

"Mmhm," Roadhog grunted in affirmation as he ate another scoop. "Haven't in a while, but it ain't that hard. This was an easy recipe, there are ones that are more difficult." 

"Oh, so, like bombs?" 

Roadhog stared a little bit confused, still eating from the bowl as Junkrat noticed his curiosity. 

"Yeah, roight- I mean, sometimes bomb ingredients are good enough on 'em own for a battle, roight?" He sloppily ran the back of his hand on his mouth, cleaning the sauce off it. "But if ye want a big boom ya gotta follow steps, combine 'em just roight so they work good. And ye gotta be careful or it just ain't gonna work." He stared at the empty bowl on his hands, the corner of his lips red from the sauce. "That's cookin', roight?" 

Roadhog was surprised, he didn't expect Junkrat to make that connection with cooking and making bombs. He honestly didn't even expect Junkrat to care that much about cooking- if the kid could he would just eat that onion raw and wouldn't have complained. "Yes. Cooking is like bombs." 

"Teach me," Junkrat scooted near Roadhog, licking his fingers loudly. "I wanna' learn how to cook!" 

Roadhog chuckled, licking the spoon as he ruffled Junkrat's head. 

"We have to get more ingredients, to cook." 

"Oh, that ain't a problem, mate!" He clung to Roadhogs arm as he threw his free arm to the air. "We got all the money on tha' world!" 

 

Roadhog smiled, something deep within him blooming once again, something he had experienced as Mako, something that normally he would just shove down and ignore, but ever since he met Junkrat, it was as if all those feelings refused to stay down.

Maybe, just _maybe_ that wasn't such a bad thing.

 

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!  
> Tumblr -> http://whatthefuckistevvs.tumblr.com/  
> Twitter -> https://twitter.com/thefuckistevvs  
> hit me up if you want to talk about your favorite type of pasta!!


End file.
